the univited

I awake every morning not knowing what to expect
I don’t always greet you with a smile or a sweet embrace
I turn over, shrink away
I close my eyes.

Why are you here? I don’t know what to do with you
I pull the covers over me
I lie in the darkness
Unmoving
Unwelcoming
Unwilling
To greet you
To invite you in.

You make me uncomfortable
You slam into me the moment I drift into consciousness
And I feel stuck.
My arms remain by my side
The covers trying to smother you
To push you away
Unwilling to be with you even for a moment.

Every morning the same,
Something different.

Every morning you come
unwanted
uninvited
I can't breathe.
Stuck within
I try to acknowledge you
just for a moment.
And then a moment more.
I try.

Every morning I awaken to a different aspect of me
Every morning I try to embrace what lies within
Every morning the same,
Something different.

And perhaps one morning,
every morning
I will greet each of you with a smile, a sweet embrace
Knowing that you are all part of me.
And perhaps one morning,
every morning, my breath will caress you.

And perhaps one morning,
every morning,
you will become
the invited.

© Jackie L Hutchings